Sport Weekend

It’s late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. It’s been my usual Monday night at home watching television, although Yvette did call a short while ago to tell me about a great new website – http://johnhoward.blogspot.com – a “weblog” written by a seventeen year old girl from Melbourne. It’s very funny.

Oh my God! Best. Weekend. EVER. The APEC summit was soooooo much fun. We played pranks on the leaders of the countries no one cares about (where the hell is Brunei? It’s funny, ’cause it sounds like “Brown-eye”!), and had food fights, and at night we told scary stories, like about lefties taking over the world and trying to conserve the environment and stuff (I couldn’t get to sleep after that one). Oh yeah, and we also talked about politics and stuff. I tried to start a game of Chinese whispers, like we play over here in Parliament, but Jiang Zemin kept stuffing it up, even though he’s Chinese or something. His interpreter reckons you can’t translate “nong-head” properly. I don’t even know why they bothered inventing the game, then. They didn’t like Chinese burns, either. China really should get a leader who’s more in touch with their culture.

Speaking of John Howard, I went to the cricket on Saturday. New South Wales was playing Tasmania at the Sydney Cricket Ground. As a member of the Doug Walters Club, I am entitled to free entry to all home games, so, of course I went along. The crowd was small and not even very enthusiastic, as many people were reading the newspaper and only occasionally looking up to see the action. An American couple who sat down next to me asked me to explain the rules of the game. After answering their eighteenth question, I simply said, “Actually, I don’t know” to the next few questions. They then started asking the woman on the other side. After answering their eighteenth question, she also said, “Actually, I don’t know”. They left after an hour or so, declaring “It’s rather boring, isn’t it?”. And I said, “Yes, that’s the point!”. Actually, it was quite boring, as New South Wales was a much stronger team than Tasmania. Michael Bevan, for example, made a double-century.

When I also got bored, I walked down towards Oxford Street and was confronted by thousands of Gay Games athletes. It was quite amusing to be walking in the opposite direction. Perhaps they weren’t really going to the Gay Games Closing Ceremony; perhaps they were going to the cricket?

On Saturday night, Colin took me to a lovely French restaurant in Darlinghurst, to celebrate my birthday. I have never had snails before, but I thought I should try them. They were lovely, although I’m still burping garlic even now!

Received a fantastic email from Greig over the weekend about the bizarre records he found at Miller’s.

Whilst digging through the milk crates I found a couple of vinyl records that struck me as rather interesting and have brought them home to listen to (and possibly record then burn to CD). The first is a 10″ recording called “Birth of a Baby”: “The documentary recording of a birth … a doctor’s step-by-step description … and actual sounds of a hospital delivery room”. “Microphones in the delivery room of a hospital bring us all the sounds of the real event, as the doctor’s gently modulated voice describes everything he sees – each step of the fascinating procedure of delivery.” (Well I hope not EVERYTHING he sees). This appears to be an Australian pressing at 33rpm and there’s some promo text on the back from a Matron Edna Shaw OBE, who was for 17 years Matron of the Women’s Hospital on Crown St. “She retired in 1952…” is the only clue to its age. I’d suggest this is a number from the 50s of perhaps early 60s number. There are no other credits. Next is “Dr Murray Banks speaks on the DRAMA of SEX”. “Authentic! Entertaining! Non-technical! A personal interpretation of essential sex factors presented in the unique and dynamic style of Dr. Murray Banks”. “Here is a new and modern presentation of the drama of sex in human life. This is a personal interpretation of essential sex facts, recorded “on the spot” in the unique and dynamic style of Dr. Murray Banks, one of the most sought after public speakers in the world today”. This one is copyright 1960, so will be a hoot I’m sure. (I thought the only drama was when two tops or two bottoms got together and fought for dominance/submission.) The last is the one I’m sure to enjoy the most – “What _you_ can learn from the Kinsey report by the most sought after speaker on the most talked about subject in America today – Dr. Murray Banks”. This one *also* promises to be “Authentic! Entertaining! Non-technical! A personal interpretation of essential sex factors presented in the unique and dynamic style of Dr. Murray Banks”. This is a 12″ 33rpm pressing on “unbreakable vinylite” and is copyrighted 1956. The cover art features a proper young woman with wrist at right-angles to her arm, clutching her pearls, a shocked look on her face. :-) I’m sure.

Yesterday, I went to a barbecue at a friends place which was great. And then last night, I went out with John and Graeme for a “night on the town”. Oxford Street has been given a lick of paint for the Gay Games.

There’s a new hotel which has opened on the corner of Oxford & Crown Streets. I spoke with a friend about it at work today. She described it as representing the worst aspects of gay male culture in Sydney – overpriced beers, too noisy, and too overcrowded with “buffed, but fundamentally second rate misogynistic gay boys”. Who am I to disagree? I agree TOTALLY.

We decided we would say hello to some sports people from overseas, especially Sweden. The one guy we saw wearing a “Sweden” T-Shirt turned out to be an American or something who got the t-shirt from a Swede he shagged… or something like that.

It was a great night and John told the story of how he had been a victim of a major ATM fraud which is on all of the news services tonight… but where did they hear the story first? You don’t need to ask…

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